Friday, November 12, 2010

Something I Do Know

Hello again. I've decided that I do know a thing or two at least, and decided to post it.
My current psychological state is abnormal for me and probably exists due to a number of factors. Most being my fault, because I chose to react certain ways and do certain things. What I am struggling with now, is mainly mea culpa (my fault). So, there's that.
Additionally, I know that it is completely ridiculous to assume that if you do not find love with a certain sex, that the other gender is for you. There are always many reasons why something does not work, and it is rarely is it because this person has a penis or this person does not. What you really love or care about is a person. Their gender, while a part of them, is not the biggest part of them. It is not their entire essence. Human essence is much more complex than that and thus, it is foolish to condense it to their sexual being.
That being said, I'm not really referring to people who find they are not sexually attracted to someone anymore and decide maybe it's because that person is a male or female. Well, not exactly anyway. I think that, when in order, the sexual attraction has a great deal to do with what kind of person your chosen lover is. What attracts you most, if truly in love, is who that person is. The danger here is to go the step many people take and say that this means gender does not matter. But, that goes to far. It skips the fact that men and women do need each other. There is a reason that there are two sexes. There is a reason why, in general, members of each sex exhibit certain traits that the other does not. Sure, there is some overlap, but it remains that sex is a procreative process and is not specifically for our pleasure. After all, there are certain animals for whom sex is a burden (I think cats or something have this crazy penis that rips the female when exiting. HORRIFYING! Also, dolphins are rapists. Yes, I said it.). The fact that we can garner pleasure from it does not erase the fact that, if we couldn't get any pleasure from it, we would still be required to mate and bring forth offspring if we are to survive.
The pleasurable side of sex, in my mind, is a bonus and a gift from the Creator. It is pleasurable because it is good to be fruitful, good to multiply, and good for the two to become one. This was something we were supposed to realize.The fact of the child or of children shows that two have become one. Think about any baby that you have known, say a younger sibling, and how everyone spends time marveling at how they have their father's eyes or mother's lips. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually the child is a representation of the oneness of the parents. Which is one reason why divorce and abusive relationships are all the more tragic. They tear up the child as well as the parents. (I'd like to note that this does not mean the child is a carbon copy of its parents, because they still have their own free will. However, even in having free will they resemble their parents, whatever their choices. You're not your parents, yet you are. But, I digress.)
Anyway, what I'm saying here is that just because you have had issues with boys in the past, if you're a lady, or girls, if you're a man, does not mean that you are gay or a lesbian. It probably just means that you're choosing wrong and/or you need to change yourself and what you are doing. I find it silly that some girls will decide that they are lesbians after a bad stint with men and vice versa. The persons maleness or femaleness will tend not to be the problem. It is usually the person's person, feel me?
Of course, this does not negate the fact that some boys like boys and vice versa. But, I also think that we should not be surprised to see that our broken sexualities manifest themselves differently in some people. The point of sex is still procreation and of two becoming one with its embodiment in a child, but our world and we are fallen. That is why it is not strange that some gay couples want a child. It's part of being human to want that. However, there is an order that has been set up that we should stick to. There was a reason it was set that way. There are many situations where a child is jointly raised by two women or two men, but the guardians are not lovers themselves. The family unit is supposed to be husband, wife, and children. The fact that fallen people have not done well with their own families does not mean that we need to just change the dynamic. The mixed families we have now, even when done well are not what can be called good. They just are. Home is supposed to be eternal. Love is supposed to be forever. Broken families are really just making due. But, now I'm tired. I think I've stopped making sense. I want to end by saying that, one again, this is not written with hatred, but instead with love. I desire that we all get right, and my disagreeing with something is not hatred. The world is tainted, I'm tainted and thus should accept the taint on others. Now, I am babbling, later.


  1. It is never a useful thing for someone to conclude either that something is wrong with them becasue of perceived failure, or wrong with the half of humanity they've been looking at.

    It's possible that non-success in love is a sign of something wrong (e.g., gross immaturity), but that's hardly the only possibility. Some people just take longer to match, and to quote a friend, "the relevant timescale for life events is years."

  2. I agree with that wholeheartedly. It takes forever to really build something, and it takes more than just romantic feelings to make a relationship work. People often forget you have to sacrifice everything. This is part of people's problem with God as well. We always want to keep this one thing in loo (sp?) of eternal happiness. I think part of it is we're terrified that if we give something away, no matter how it may vex us, we'll never get it back and be less than a person. Everything is so hard to see when you live in time.